Иии окай, история любви, известная еще как Across the Stars, действительно красивая и трагичная и все такое, и я никогда не понимала, как Падме - принцесса Тида с девяти(?), двукратная королева с двенадцати лет, сенатор, политик, воин, практически глава коалиции и, наконец, взрослая тетка двадцати четырех лет отроду - могла сделать такую глупость как попросту начать соблазнять и динамить одновременно спермотоксикозного подростка Эничку, затем хлопнуть глазками на резню и наконец выйти за него замуж (после двух недель непрерывной демонстрации неуравновешенности, жестокости и властолюбия, могу я добавить. и не забудем незаконность брака саму по себе, правда, Сенатор?).
Просто, ЩТО.
Но красиво, не отнять...

В этой главе очень много кричаще очевидного, но пусть будет.

There is a castle on a cloud,
I like to go there in my sleep.
...
I know a place where no one's lost,
I know a place where no one cries.
Crying at all is not allowed,
Not in my castle on a cloud...
"There is a castle on a cloud" from "Les Misérables"


Chapter 5. I know a place where no one's lost

Padmé knew better than asking the Jedi for Anakin's wellbeing. Officially, they remained trusted allies and good friends. At times it was achingly difficult act to play for them both, and she meant not the desire to sing their love from a rooftop, but forced state of not-knowing, not-asking, not being right there for the other half of your heart.

She vowed not to let anything between them, and she has been failing spectacularly ever since.

She knew it would be so, and she asked Anakin to drop the issue that beautiful night on the eve of the war. Even before the first battle, in her worst nightmare not able to foresee the horror awaiting, she knew that their duties were too much for coming together. There was nothing to be 'too much for being in love', it was too late already, but at least she could save them from suffering that their secret life was.

In her defense, Padmé had truly believed to be laid dead before dusk when she kissed Anakin. She thought 'there is no way out this time' and she didn't want any secrets left. She didn't want for Anakin to go alone, with someone he held dear just out of reach. She wanted for them to be together, and she was going to die.

She hasn't regretted her choice, and she has been swearing not to, every single moment they were made apart.

But has she dreamed a life in piece, their love thriving in the open, her Anakin allowed to come back to her whenever he wanted. Has she dreamed walking hand-in-hand in the forests and laying in the meadows, day is the light and night is stars across the sky.

And if he couldn't stay with her, then she dreamed for him to be free, no weight of the war on his shoulders, no death haunting his mind, no learned helplessness in his heart.

Be safe, she prayed and then immediately, come back to me, come back to me.

читать дальше